Wednesday, October 31, 2007 (100th post on dejamoo!)

everybody loves to root for
the underdog.
the underdog is unlikely,
destiny-defying,
not naturally charmed but
takes painstaking effort in being
good enough.
the underdog's resistance against
nature's course resonates
with the struggler in everybody.
they want to see the underdog
make it,
because, somehow,
its akin to
witnessing how hope triumps
over the unceasing injustice in life.

thing is,
we romanticise.
we want to see a success story
to keep ourselves hopeful.
but the arbiter would go
for the obvious other choice.

we want to see it happen,
but even we,
won't make it happen.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

i try to casestudy people
whenever im upset.

it helps me,
imagining them as things
acting on their natural instincts
and ignoring the complexities
and idiosyncrasies that differentiate
each of them.
its more soothing than
facing up to the reality
that they are thinking, judgemental
individuals all in their own right.

it does it for me:

it puts me in audience-mode,
a position i am happy, and familiar,
in (im a tv/film-junkie).
it detaches me from the picture.
most importantly,
puts me in a perspective where
i could, perhaps, be objective,
amidst the flurry of emotions.

sometimes as much as i try
not to be,
i really am just as human as them.
it crazes me trying to fathom
someone's thoughts,
trying to have some virtual control
over how people view me,
trying in vain to be unruffled by
the negatives lingering...

i get tired,sometimes,
being human and feeling human.
which is why some of us
choose to devote a larger part of
our life on a craft,
a canine friend, or on the
material things...
at the very least,
they can be held on to,
they don't usually alter their positions
without warning,
and they are easy to understand.

we tire one another out,
more than we know.
i know i do.
i know i am a source of irritation
or hurt to even the
people dearest to me,
simply because i am not them-
and empathy can only do so much.

but its a hard balance to keep,
since no one can really claim
to not need people.

i have no qualms admitting that
i feel lonely, even needy,
some days,
but these feelings are really
not often.
for one,
i know the tradeoffs.
i need my freedom and space so much
that it becomes easy to combat
loneliness.

after all,
i always found being alone
and being lonely to be mutually
exclusive.

i have the rowdiest times
with friends, really.
i talk loudly, laugh uninhibitedly
and go absolutely insane.
most times,
i would be having great fun.
fun don't always equate to
happiness, or removes loneliness.

without the need for the
supreme effort put into socialising,
solitude comforts, heals
and builds up sense of self.

we need our social and
emotional supports,
but we should not depend excessively
on them.
because, like ourselves,
they falter too.
we should always preempt this crumble
and be prepared to fall back
on ourselves.

alternatively,
be religious.

i do have
a funny love for melancholy.
sometimes moping over nothing
particularly mope-worthy
brings an odd sense of satisfaction.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

One Two Three Four
Tell me that you love me more
Sleepless, long nights
That was what my youth was for
old teenage hopes are alive at your door
Left you with nothing
But they want some more
<3

kboxing//tutmates






I FINALLY FOUND YOU, MY FELLOW UPPERLIP-LIFTER




post-natas celebration//da utc colleagues


school boredom school

BEFORE

AFTER


good kids aspire to be wayward jiez//allison the cousin


pauline's super wayang makeup @
Filodoksia by Raffles Hall
(you were some awesome thing darlinn~)

Sunday, October 14, 2007

the older you are,
the more shocking the world becomes.
and the older you are,
the more you have to
abstain from artless expression
of shock.
the older you are,
the more you have to gracefully
assimilate shock and
put up a front of coolness and
casualness.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

i really hate to always be
lamenting about
what a carnage
i have found life to be.
like its a particularly new discovery.

i do apologize, since
i write mostly only when im upset.

but somehow,
most days always come down
to this:
that life is just
one damned thing over and over.

i guess life bears the brunt of the blame
mostly because
i dont love being specific,
for reasons of preserving reasonable EQ levels
and besides,
big brother of the world wide web
is watching.

i also dont like to highlight
that people are the main reasons
why life is so darned hard to live.
it displeases people,
which is a vicious cycle since
displeased people
always threaten to all sorts of things
to make life more challenging than
i'd like it to be.

its just so draining, so difficult,
this world.

it's also all the more defeating
to be prone to being at odds
with normalcy,
to resist the world's unwavering
expectations to be as
alike as they are.

life is really not terrible but
its tiring to be battling everyday,
its exhausting just to keep up
with the rate at which the weight on
the shoulders are burgeoning
and its the absolute difficulty to
love the world that
forces you to unleash your ugliest
of human frailties
in order to win, to fit in, to stand out,
to bearly survive-
and a wider assortment of
other human activites.

every step in life is a
reluctant but necessary one.
guess the mournful optimist
in me will treat this lifetime of
trial and tribulations as time-fillers
while waiting for my turn to die.

BUT ANYWAY
BACK TO THE REAL
WORLD, BACK TO COMBAT.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

rspid swimming therapy
beeg fun inn thee sunnn~
darling trainees were all super high
and super happy

my trainee mandy staying afloat~ <3

hiked the HILL OF HOPE ( Mt Faber )
for United against Breast Cancer.

Friday, October 05, 2007

it was great honour just watching

Labels: lee kuan yew

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

i became the subject of sis's
evangelistic zeal, erm, again
and so we talked a bit about
how a template of life with God in it
will "fill that emptiness".
i mean, its a great suggestion really,
to actually have unconditional faith
in what the bible preaches:
leave your troubles to God and
He will lead the way.

why, of course i'd like that.

its comforting to know that
when im at my wits end
a prayer will soothe.
and life is so rife with
hopeless moments,
if they could be so conveniently dealt with,
then maybe i'd feel safer
in this crazy world.

its like an awesome invitation
that i still can't find my way into.

some believers read too much into
scriptures and focus excessively on
the very myopic should-nots.
it'll be more meaningful
if religion compels believers to
be proactive in reversing the
the uglies in the world,
instead of
harping on what not to eat
or what not to wear.

i do want to grow spiritually.
but maybe not this way, yet.
the way i see it,
i jolly well not be
looking on as injustice manifests
itself..

maybe i am a functional humanbean
for a reason.
and maybe we owe it to
not so functional huamnbeans and
misunderstood animals,
because maybe they are what they are
so we could be what we are.
so maybe in exchange we could
give the voiceless some voice...
so we'll be even.

maybe this could save my soul.
maybe it could save yours.

diore.tk

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